Avalanche
by Mistress Wiggle
Summary: *Rewrite* How do the cast of SSX hold on to their last shred of Sanity when they're trapped in a cave with a maniac, a sex starved Englishman, a hyper twelve year-old and VIGGO! Avalanches cause all sorts of problems, ones that they could do without.
1. Chapter 1

Yes this is a rewrite. For those of you wondering; yes this is NA, I cannot remember the password or the email address to Faith and my Fairywings account, and neither can she. So if wish to delete the fairywingscuteochochou account that would be helpful. As you can see my new pen name is Mistress Wiggle, but I'm not stealing this story; it's my story to begin with. I am desperately trying to finish my Naruto fic which is close to completion but I thought I would upload this in the mean time; it needs refreshing and updating and since Deadly Decents is coming out soon I figured now would be a good time. Anyone that was a fan of the old Avalanche feel free to email or contact anyone else you know who was also a fan but not on the SSx forum anymore. I can't contact everyone since I can't access the account. Enjoy.

I do not own SSX, EA does.

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><p>Big Mountain was known for many things, Big Courses, Big characters, Big Air and as the first rays of sun for the day hit the lodge <em>big screams<em>. Most of the Lodges inhabitants were peacefully asleep, well, that was save for two.

"DIE! Die you excuse for a video game character! Stupid evil green lizard! Why won't you die!" Griff spurred on by the sugar rush of his frosted cornflakes was most certainly awake. The other slightly bemused but interested occupant in front of the TV was Kaori. Who; despite being Japanese really had no idea who most of the little beings were jumping up and down and attacking each other on the television.

"Griff-Kun, I really don't think yelling at it will make it die." She said thoughtfully, balancing her plate of toast on her knees and munching away on a piece happily.

"But Kaori." Griff turned his childish face to her, pausing the game and speaking in a voice much more define for his 12 years of age. "In a game as excruciatingly difficult as this, there is no point playing; if you simply cannot yell insults at it."

Kaori picked up the game box where the certificate stated 12+, surely it couldn't be _that_ difficult. "It's your turn anyway." Griff stated standing up to sit on the couch and handing her the controller.

"I'm not sure I'll be any good..." Kaori trailed off as she picked a character, deciding on what looked like a small little pink marshmallow.

"That's why I'm teaching you to play, see?" Griff stated matter-of-factly.

It soon became apparent to Kaori, that it wasn't as easy as she had thought it might be. Kaori wasn't completely oblivious to video games, she had a small little DS Lite, her brother had bought her for Christmas; with Style Boutique and Nintendogs among other things. But she didn't own an actual console. It was totally not used to the controls. "Stupid evil little Baka!" Kaori was yelling. "DIE!" She cried out intently staring at the screen and punching buttons for all it was worth. "TEME!"

Griff sucked on his lips, his eyes a little wide in shock. He had no idea what she was yelling but it sure was loud... enough to wake a sleeping lion in fact-

"DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH!" Kaori and Griff jumped at the roar, Toast and controllers flying everywhere as Psymon appeared angrily in the doorway. Griff knew he was in trouble enough not to comment on Psymon's delightful underwear, which consisted of white boxes with love hearts all over it.

Kaori trembled before Psymon let off some sort of unfathomable tribal yell and started after. Griff dived off of the back of the couch onto the floor, as Psymon dived over it sending it flying backwards as Kaori let out a scream and ducked under the maniacs outstretched arms. Psymon launched himself after her, of course now he was chasing her; they were making a hell of a lot more noise than Griff and Kaori were doing moments ago.

"AAAIIIIIEEEEEE!" Kaori flung open the door to the room she shared with Elise and Zoe as Psymon came hurtling after her.

"GET BACK HERE SQUEAKY!" He cried.

"ELISE! ZOE! SAVE MEEEEE!" She cried throwing herself around Elise's bed as Psymon advanced on her.

Elise, was awake; and sitting up, her hair all over her face but still managing to look like her stunning; beautiful; amazon; supermodel self sat up. "Hey, Hey!" She cried pushing Psymon back across the bed, "Sketchy what the hell is going on!"

"Here's what's going on BUDDY!" Psymon yelled. "The day we get married is the day I send that little brat back to Japan! GET THE PICTURE! It's me." Here he pointed proudly at himself. "Or her!" He flung his arm out at Kaori and growled.

By now, the majority of the lodge had congregated outside of their room. Elise gave a lazy yawn, stretched and answered. "Her."

"What!" Psymon spluttered incredulously.

"H.E.R Her." Elise stated shaking her head at him. "For two reasons. One; I have no idea what crazy monkey zoo you were bred in Stark to make you think _we_-" Here she flicked her perfect manicured forefinger between them a couple of times. "Are getting married, and two; she is nowhere near as annoying." She answered. "Now, go away."

"Well I wouldn't wanna marry you anyway!" Psymon recovered diving over Elise to get at the Japanese girl. "Get back here now Squeaky!"

"AIIEE!" Kaori dived under Zoe's bed as Elise irritably pushed Psymon off of her with a tremendous oaf.

Zoe, sat up and as Psymon started to pick himself up; frowned at him, being the only person who could usually control him she shrugged. "What did she do anyway!"

"She was screaming and woke me up!" Psymon cried.

Practically everyone rolled their eyes at this, even Griff; who stood behind Nate couldn't see and had no idea what was going on. At this point, Moby decided to make his opinion known. "Yeah god forbid you wake Sketchy up when he's having his beauty sleep." He snorted before adding, "Not that it does much."

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><p>"JONES!" Rahzell sat up in bed yawning at the new tremor of noise ricocheting around the Lodge. He looked as the clock on his bedside table before continuing to listen to the unmistakable sounds of a chase going on. "YOU GET THAT ENGLISH ASS OF YOURS HERE JONES, I'LL SHOVE SOME SCONES UP IT!"<p>

"Meant nothing by it mate!" Moby retorted, "Really got the wrong end of the stick-!"

"YEAH AND THE QUEEN MOTHER'S ALIVE AND THE BEATLES WERE ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD BAND!" Psymon yelled back sarcastically.

"DON'T YOU DARE DISS MY HERITAGE!" Moby yelled back. "AT LEAST I HAVE ONE, MATE!"

"I'M NOT YOUR MATE JONES!"

"NOT ANYMORE, TOSSER!"

Rahzell gave a sigh and shook his head. "All this and it's only seven am."

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><p>Two hours later, after a waking ritual which although slightly different in some way; seemed to occur almost every day, they were all accounted for at Snow Jam. "Well this morning dawned chirpily." Viggo stated sarcastically to Allegra as he stifled a long yawn.<p>

"No shit Sherlock." She replied tying her bandana up and sighing.

Nate started to begin to tell everyone of his own ritual of having to get up at five every morning back at his ranch in Colorado but was thankfully silenced by Psymon starting to laugh maniacally and loudly at a joke his tattoo had just told him.

Rahzell made his way towards them with a clipboard. "Right gang!" he stated, "You all want to ride today, fine no problem; but I warned you all at breakfast about the unstable activity in this area-"

"You never told us anything at breakfast." Moby argued.

Rahzell heaved a sigh and groaned. "Yes I did Jones, it's not my fault if you were too busy stuffing your face full of pancakes, egg and bacon to pay any attention, My point is don't break your necks out there. Except you Stark." He added as an afterthought, "You go break your neck if it'll make you happy."

Moby interjected. "The only thing that makes him happy is his right hand and lube."

"Don't be thick, I don't need lube." Psymon argued. Rahzell opened his mouth to say something, but thinking better of it shook his head. "Does anyone have anything to say that's actually a question or something appropriate?" He asked glaring at Moby. Moby chuckled and nodded.

"I have got one other thing to ask." he stated, "It's a serious question, with an answer that all of us here wish to know. So you can't get angry at me Rahzell for asking." Rahzell sucked in a deep breath of air as Moby made his question known. "On a scale of one to Perez Hilton how gay is Viggo?" Ignoring Viggo's argumentative yells, and several sniggers; Rahzell went to yell at Moby again; but before he could however, slowly out of the corner of his eye, he saw Psymon raise his hand. Knowing full well he would be better to ignore it, against his better judgement Rahzell addressed the crazy Canadian.

"Yes Stark?" He asked; forcefully smiling through gritted teeth.

"Yes." Psymon stood straight and cleared his throat momentously. There was a dramatically long pause as Psymon looked around to make sure he had _everyone's_ attention. When he was certain he did; he raised two gloved hands "Allegra is ginger and she has no soul!"

Rahzell gave an incomprehensible yell as he walked away.

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><p>As it turned out however, Rahzell had been quite right about the unstable activity. There had been some serious storms in the night, and anything that hadn't already shifted was now waiting dangerously for any tiny interruption of order to cause anything hazardous to become a disaster. Such as a squirrel trying to get a nut for example. Anyone who knows Squirrels, know how determine they can be for food, even going at great lengths to pass a man made obstacle course for example to get them. This Squirrel was no different, and as it forcefully tugged free the nut it had been attempting to seize, it was of no concern to the squirrel as it sat on the highest branch of a tree to eat it; that it had just caused the biggest avalanche in big mountains history.<p>

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><p>I hope this was enjoyed by most of you. I'm not planning on making this very long. Faith is giving me a hand with some bits but she's too busy to co write it so it's just me at the moment. :3<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Here's chapter 2 I'm uploading these together so you can reread all of what was done last time. Hope you enjoy, there's some bits changed and little extras added in here and there.

I do not own SSX, EA does.

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><p>"FRENCH TOAST AND SYUUUUPPPPP!"<p>

Kaori who, had been peacefully riding, concentrating heavily and getting big air turned around in panic at the voice of her arch nemesis. All too late did she realise that as he flew over her head performing his signature move the guillotine, she was going much too fast to brake in time to give him enough room to land. This was going to hurt.

"BAKA!" She yelled as he smashed straight into her tiny frame and sending her flying almost ten feet backwards, sliding over the ice and snow. She sat up; eventually; and incredibly red hue set about her normally placid face.

Psymon boarded to her side and leered down at her. "What you doing down there Squeaky?"

Kaori swelled up like a gigantic balloon and Psymon could tell a tirade of Japanese obscenities were coming his way, right on cue she let him have it waving her arms above her head and screaming at him as he chortled madly above her.

Kaori suddenly stopped, "What's that noise?" She asked.

"Oh," Psymon stated. "I knew there was something I'd come to tell you, and when I smacked into you; I forgot entirely what it was but _I remember now_!"

"Well!" She cried, standing up. "What is it!"

"There's a massive avalanche that threatens to engulf and kill us heading our way." He pointed nonchalantly over his shoulder.

"NANI!" Kaori yelled, her eyes wide, she diverted them to behind Psymon and her mouth opened in shock; there just wasn't really any conceivable way she could outrun _that_. Psymon, however; was not claiming to be master of peak three for nothing. Playing the hero; he pulled Kaori towards him, grabbed his board in the other hand; and dragged her along on her board; hurtling towards one of Snow Jams caves in the rock face. "Oi! SMELLY! What do you think you're doing!" Kaori cried as Psymon dragged her strapped feet and board behind him.

"Saving you!" he cried over his shoulder, they were almost there."

"SAVING ME!" She yelled unbelievably, "May I remind you that this morning you were ready to rip my head off!"

"YES WELL, I'VE SPENT THE LAST THREE YEARS TRYING TO KILL YOU, I'M NOT GOING TO GET OUTSMARTED BY LETTING FAST MOVING SNOW DO IT FOR ME!" He yelled back at her as he reached the cave; pulled her in and the rush of snow went past.

Kaori opened her mouth slightly. "Oh." She stated.

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><p>Elise had never been trapped in an avalanche before, and she truly didn't intend to start now. She was extremely angry, not that their race had to be abandoned or that she was in mortal danger; no, she was really ticked off because; quite simply... Rahzell was right, and they were never gonna hear the end of it. In mortal danger she couldn't resist rolling her eyes. As she rushed towards to safety, one of the chasms that Snow Jam housed under its deep forest something caught her eyes. Something very small, something very blonde, and something struggling to release his snowboard from being trapped under a rock. Elise gave a very loud disgruntled yell and ran back towards Griff, wrenching his legs from his bindings and picking him up under her Amazonian arms. "But!- But MY BOARD!" Griff wailed frantically.<p>

"GRIFF SIMMONS!" Elise yelled at him, Griff cowered under her arm. "That is an avalanche you fool! Not homework! Not an early bed time! Not Vegetables! Unlike everything else you moan about, that ACTUALLY WILL KILL YOU! OR I WILL IF YOU KEEP SAYING STUPID THINGS!"

Griff fell silent as Elise kept running towards the chasm.

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><p>"100% UN-BE-LIEVABLE!" Allegra was used to Snow jam, she had built her trick meter, filled her über letters, and now was performing her Capo, it was her best and very favourite move, when performed properly of course; and she was back on her board preparing to land when-<p>

"Ooof!"

Allegra had her back in the soaking wet snow, and was very glad she had chosen to wear her army bomber jacket instead of one of her tank tops for this race. She also had acquired a new bolt-on it seemed; one in the form of a very English, very male and very muscular person lying on top of her. "Convenient position we're in." Moby Jones muttered as he raised his head and looked at her.

"Jones, get the hell off me." Allegra said irritably.

"Do I have too?" He groaned.

"YES!" She cried, "You _do_ have to get off me you poor excuse for a human being!-" Moby covered her mouth with his hand to quiet her.

"Did you hear that?" He whispered. Allegra concentrated, she could hear a low rumbling noise; but she couldn't work out what it was from underneath Jones' chest... although irritated at him she did have to admit it was quite a fine chest- the noise got louder.

"What is it?" She asked in a low whisper, she growled at him. "If that's your stomach Jones I swear to god-"

Moby rolled off her and her eyes widened at the mountain moving towards them. Both of them swore loudly and unstrapping herself from her board she scrambled to her feet and left it there with a pang of regret as she started sprinting towards a cave. She stopped for a brief moment and turned around, looking at a still horizontal Moby.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" She yelled, "ARE YOU COMING OR NOT!"

"What's in it for me?" He asked, "Will you make it worth my while?"

"ARRGGGH! DIE FOR ALL I CARE THEN, YOU ONE MINDED CHAUVANISTIC ENGLISH PIG!" Allegra screamed herself hoarse watching the Avalanche rumble closer.

"Fine." Moby said getting up and brushing himself off. "But I'm only coming so the lady won't get all lonely and scared, then feel obliged to have sex with me afterwards, or maybe during." He added as an afterthought. "Whatever floats your boat."

"YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE!" Allegra screamed at him, feeling like the whole mountain could hear her; not that it made a difference mind with the avalanche behind them. "I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M STOOD HERE YELLING AT YOU WHEN AN AVALANCHE IS GOING TO HIT US! EITHER GET IN THE CAVE OR DO THE WORLD A FAVOUR AND STAY OUT HERE!" She turned and started to run.

"Geeze, don't start ovulating." Moby muttered, pulling his helmet on properly and pelted towards her, stopping only briefly to grab her from behind and fling her over his shoulder into a fireman's lift. Needless to say, he was pretty sure Allegra wasn't too happy about that.

"MOBY JONES!"

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><p>"So you only saved me because you wanted to kill me and not the avalanche?" Kaori asked curiously.<p>

"YES!" Psymon yelled at her, his echo reverberating through the chasms. A few meters away, Kaori heard some bats start screeching and flying. She felt one zoom over her head and ducked whilst Psymon laughed at her. She frowned at him but continued to follow him through the caves she had been lead into.

Psymon's direction was worse than an ants, and he refused to listen to anything Kaori happened to input into the way they should be heading. Then again, ironically; if it hadn't been Psymon and Tattoo boy's desire to kill her; she would have been wiped off the face of the earth by a ton of snow. So in a twist of fate; she actually had Psymon to thank.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"We're walking through the caves. Hoping to find another exit that isn't BLOCKED UP WITH SNOOOOOW!" Psymon yelled at her, "Don't ask such stupid questions, and this!" Here he withdrew his M-Comm, "Is a piece of garbage!" At this he threw the piece of machinery down the tunnel in a fit of rage. Kaori personally thought he was being completely over dramatic, but that was Psymon and _she_ wasn't going to point that out to him. No way.

As it was however, they then started to hear voices resonating from the tunnel Psymon had forcefully lobbed his M-comm down. Psymon yelled out gleefully, "We're saved!" he cried skipping down the corridor like a school girl, Kaori tried to push that hideous image from her mind as she followed slowly behind him, working out where to step safely.

Psymon rounded the corner ready to jump into the arms of his would be hero but instead almost found himself in Elise's cleavage. Stopping himself quickly; not really wanting to meet the end of Elise's fist he sighed. "It's OK RUNT!" He yelled back at Kaori, "IT'S THE ICE QUEEN AND YOUR BOYFRIEND!"

"Sketchy." Elise stated, balancing somewhat on Griff. He was doing quite well for someone substantially taller than her. Kaori skipped out of the shadows looking ecstatic.

"Huh?" She asked confused. "Where is Mac-kun?"

Elise and Psymon frowned at her. "What are you talking about Kaori." Elise stated, "When was Mac your boyfriend?"

Psymon began laughing again and Kaori started to puff up before desperately changing the subject. "What are you doing here?" She questioned, "What happened to your leg?"

"We're on a picnic what do you think." Elise muttered her patience wearing thin.

"Elise is feeling a little cranky." Griff looked up, over a foot to Psymon and explained nodding his head.

"What gave me away?" Elise asked, "Was it the blood? The limping? Or me in a really pain filled bad mood?" She snapped.

"Woah, watch out Squeaky, PMS girl might bite your head off." Psymon stated, "You'll get that when you reach puberty." Uncharacteristically Kaori started growling but was interrupted by Psymon asking another question.

"Is that way blocked up?" He said pointing down the tunnel.

"Yes." Elise answered, "That's how I scraped my knee, I was carrying the Munchkin here and struggled to get in quick enough, I hit my knee on a jagged rock as I climbed in."

"Damn that was the safest way out I knew." Psymon blew a raspberry and looked around, "Well we need to sort your leg out first, best sit down Icy." He said rummaging in one of the many pockets on his trousers.

Elise sighed and sat down upon a rock. Psymon pulled out a hip flask and from another pocket some bandages. "You actually board with alcohol, Sketchy why am I _not_ surprised." Elise rolled her eyes.

"I don't drink it; I keep it for when stuff like this happens." Psymon answered, "I can't feel a thing doesn't mean I can't still get hurt. Then we need to find a way out of here."

"Let's go that way." Kaori pointed down a different tunnel.

Psymon gave her an exasperated look, "Errr, let's not!" He suggested turning to tend to Elise's leg. Kaori growled again and made faces at him from behind his back. "Besides," he answered as Elise winced in pain, "We don't know who else might be in here. We sure as ass weren't the only ones on the slopes, I figure Zoe and Nate'll be alright if they're trapped, but the others won't be. We should look for them on the way out."

"God help the poor sucker stuck with _Viggo._" Elise commented dryly.

Elsewhere, Zoe sneezed.

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><p>Zoe sneezing, is reference to the Japanese theory that if you sneeze, someone somewhere is talking about you. Hope everyone liked this chapter. Chapter three, brand new material, should be up soon :)<p>

Wiggle xxx


	3. Chapter 3

_Well I hope this chapter is as funny as the last, thanks to all my reviewers I appreciate it! Also I don't mean all the Viggo bashing; honestly, I'm only doing it for the story heh._

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><p>Mac, for one; was feeling slightly pleased. He had to admit, whilst he and Nate weren't best buddies, the mountain man really was the best person he could have found whilst wandering around aimlessly through darkened tunnels, using his M-Comm to light the way. Nate had a torch at least, in his survival kit that he just so luckily happened to be sporting during the race. Looks like he may have been the only one to actually take Rahzell seriously... or to even have been listening in fact. Mac couldn't remember talk about unstable activity at breakfast either; but he sure wasn't going to let Moby know that.<p>

"Do you know the way out?" Mac asked.

"Yes," Nate answered, "We're gonna have to do a bit of climbing though, I have my equipment; my concern is if we climb out and the others are down here."

"Yo, we gotta find Kaori!" Mac stated. Nate raised an eyebrow but offered no further comment as the younger boy followed. "You're cool and all Nate but I aint into this Brokeback mountain getup. Thank god I'm not with Viggo." He added shuddering.

Nate rolled his eyes in the dark. Kids.

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><p>Zoe sneezed again and rubbed her nose; hoping she wasn't coming down with a cold, she was fast getting irritated. Viggo; it transpired, for all his childhood growing up in the mountains of Sweden; was utterly <em>useless<em> when it came to survival. He spent most of his time moaning, asking Zoe where they were and wondering out loud if his fan girls were worrying out of him. "Viggo." Zoe said through gritted teeth. "I am trying to find us a way out, if you're not going to help; then can you please just do me a favour; and shut up before I rip you a new arsehole?"

Viggo opened his mouth to retort, but then remembered that the week before; Zoe had thrown Psymon through the Red stations second floor window, and very quickly closed his mouth again. Zoe walked onwards muttering to herself and hoping desperately Moby was around... somewhere; to confide in.

Behind her she heard Viggo trip and too late he had fallen into her sending them both flying. Giving a roar she cried at him "You're as useless as a cat flap in an elephant house!"

"Sorry." He muttered.

"You couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery." Zoe snapped standing back up again and effortlessly pulling the Swede to his feet. This was going to be a _really_ long day.

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><p>"No."<p>

"Come on!"

"NO!" Allegra stormed ahead not really caring if Moby was following her or not, although she knew he was.

Moby childishly pouted in the dark and followed obediently. He had only simply asked if she needed warming up in the cold; damp; scary tunnels. Allegra had stated that she didn't, but he didn't quite believe her. Now she was ignoring him, he rolled his eyes; _women_.

Allegra on the other hand was worried more than just about Moby and his ridiculous libido. She was using her M-Comm to light a path, but she didn't know her way around the tunnels like Nate did. She rolled her eyes; he probably wasn't even stuck in it. Hopefully Viggo was all right, not because she cared deeply for him; simply because he was slightly more worthless than tits on a bull. He was a friend, and a good rider; but she couldn't help but admit that he had a walk akin to a ship in full sail. Then again, at least he kept his hands to himself.

"Moby." She stated through gritted teeth, "What exactly are you doing?"

"Well I couldn't find my way since you're hogging all the light love." He stated.

"YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN FRIGGIN M-COMM GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY ASS!"

"It was your ass?" He asked. She couldn't see his expression fully in the dark, which was probably a good thing or she would have punched it. "Suppose it makes sense since you don't have a sack of potatoes with you-"

Allegra swung her fist, and it did connect with something despite the dark, because she heard a satisfying thwack and Moby's agonised groans. "Next time I'll aim lower." She hissed venomously.

"Gotcha." Moby replied touching his nose gingerly. "Do me a favour love, don't tell anyone you socked me in the face, and I won't tell anyone you're hiding a badger down the back of your Salopettes."

At least this time, Moby had time to cover his gentleman vegetables before Allegra's fist came flying.

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><p>"Are we far away from escaping?" Mac asked as he cautiously followed the mountain man through the tunnels. He counted his blessings again that Nate had been close behind him during the race, and even more so that Nate wasn't still reeling in anger about the fact Mac had knocked him down at the start gate.<p>

"As far as I can tell." Nate answered climbing over a huge bolder and holding out a gloved hand to help the shorter boy over it. "Jeeze Mac, how many hotdogs have you been stuffing lately?"

Mac pouted in the dark and jumped down after him prodding his own belly, Moby eats tons more than I do, I'm not fat." He argued.

Nate chuckled to himself as he continued to navigate his way through, it was really lucky that he had camped in them before, as well as training himself; they made excellent shortcuts for making it back up the mountain quickly. But there were difficult parts too them; he was sincerely worried for the other competitors... friends or enemies he didn't really want any of them getting lost and some of the chasms lead deeper underground. That was really no good, having said that Sketchy would probably revel in getting lost down there for a few days.

It would definitely do him the world of good; Nate decided personally.

Nate turned his torch off for a moment and ignoring Mac's protests continued towards what he could barely see in the dark, a speck of light in the distance; he turned the torch back on for Mac's benefit and continued onwards. "Found it." He stated triumphantly as he got nearer.

"Found what?" Mac asked excitedly as he struggled to keep up with Nate's huge strides.

"The way out." Nate stated coming to a halt where the light shined brightest. "Well we don't have a choice."

"Up there!" Mac cried. "You gotta be joking Dawg! I can't get up there!"

"Well you'll have too." Nate stated dropping his backpack and starting to offload the contents, "Then you'll have to get Rahzell, and more ideally Powder Pete." Mac choked a little and looked up before gulping, it was a long way, and he really wasn't very good at rock climbing. "Look." Nate said laying a hand on his shoulder. "I'll be here, you won't fall as long as you do exactly what I tell you too alright, and for goodness sake don't look down."

"Great choice of words there." Mac replied through gritted teeth.

Nate sighed, "I don't have time to listen to your whining, you're smaller and more agile, quicker and I can stay here in case the others are down here, I can find my way back here easily; you can't" He jabbed a forefinger into Mac's chest pointedly. "Just do it for Kaori."

"Fine; fine." Mac grumbled.

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><p>"I WARNED THEM!" Atomika winced and pulled at his ear as Rahzell's tirade continued. 2I SPECIFICALLY TOLD THEM ABOUT UNSTABLE ACTIVITY, ON THEIR HEADS BE IT-"<p>

"Rahzell." Atomika started.

"I SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN ACCOUNTANT! WHAT WILL THE NEWS SAY ABOUT THIS!-"

"RAHZELL!" Atomika cried, eventually.

Rahzell, seething like a rhinoceros rounded on him. "Yes!"

Atomika grinned, "Look we need to handle this situation, I'll go get Powder Pete; you need to help the Ski Patrol in their search for them. They're the best riders in the world; and my mountain cams show that they weren't injured; that they all escaped into the caves. We just need to find them."

"Fine; Fine!" Rahzell stated, "They're all on probation after this." He snapped, "Especially Jones!"

Atomika sighed in exasperation as the event's organiser stormed off and picked up his own M-Comm to dial Powder Pete. Well you couldn't say the SSX tour wasn't interesting that was for sure.

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><p>"You there yet?"<p>

"Almost." Mac concentrated and kept his eyes upwards, the entrance was almost in his grasp, just a few more steps.

"Right now lift your left leg up about a foot, there's a ledge there that you can hoist yourself up on." Nate instructed carefully.

Mac took a deep breath and lifted his foot as instructed, sure enough he found the ledge, and wedged his foot inside it carefully, once he felt safe he pushed and his hands grasped at the ground outside, making sure it was stable he pulled and eventually found himself lying face down in the snow breathing rapidly.

"Mac you ok!" The mountain man cried.

Mac sat up and looked around, he recognised where he was. "Yeah I'm fine!" He cried back, "It's a mess out here, Avalanche seemed to hit everything!" He took the safety harness off, "Do you want me to do anything here!" he yelled back down.

"No! Leave the Harness there and go get Powder Pete!" Nate cried back. "Has your M-Comm got signal!" He cried.

"Not yet!" Mac called, "It's going to take me a while to get down without a board!"

"Then get as far as you can to get signal and call someone!" Nate cried, "I'll wait here!"

"I'll be as quick as I can Dawg!" Mac yelled before starting his way through the snow.

Nate heaved a sigh, well that was one out at least.

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><p><em>As I said Chapters won't be too exceedinly long and this story won't be either; just a bit of comedy here and there I suppose, I don't intend to do any pairings; sorry as stated it's just a simply comedy story, no romance in this. Pleased Read and Review. <em>

_Wiggle/NA xxxxx_


	4. Chapter 4

_So thank you all so much to my lovely reviewers, you've been awesome thanks for reading and leaving comments it's great to hear from you all! _

_I do not own SSX, EA does_

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><p>Moby had to admit, his plan of wooing Allegra was not going to what he thought was his well defined plans. She was like Zoe, but worse, at least Zoe would laugh and joke and flirt back... Allegra was just exceptionally angry; like a volcano wanting to burst. He wasn't entirely sure what had put her in a ratty mood; he knew of course it couldn't possibly be his charming demeanour... Surely not.<p>

Allegra meanwhile was trying to worry a lot more than over Moby and his sex drive. She was still trying to find a way out, and it wasn't going that smoothly. Every turn they took usually ended up as a dead end and Allegra didn't want to go deeper and deeper into the mountain and get lost forever like those awful horror movies Viggo made her watch. "Ugh." She stated finally "I think we're really lost."

"How lost?" Moby asked.

Allegra's eye twitched. "_Really_ lost." She stated.

"Lost enough to share one final passionate moment before romantically committing suicide together?" Moby asked hopefully.

As another yelp echoed through the caverns, Allegra was absolutely sure her fist had never had this type of work out before.

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><p>Zoe turned another corner with her M-Comm light and sighed, yet another fork in the tunnels and she was no closer to getting where she wanted to be. Her mountain survival instincts knew what to look for along the walls, it just seemed like they weren't getting anywhere. They'd already come across two blocked up tunnels, and she wasn't pleased about this at all since they were two ways she knew full well would find an exit. She wasn't about to tell Viggo and make him worry, he was irritating enough without him squealing like a woman they were lost.<p>

"This cave is disgusting." Viggo announced, lifting his foot gingerly as he stepped in a pool of cold water.

"Well sorry I can't provide you 5 star comforts." Zoe muttered irritably, "No shut up I hear something."

Viggo opening his mouth to retort; snapped it shut and cast his ears around trying to listen to what Zoe claimed she could hear. Sure enough there was some sort of awful wailing sound emitting from the end of one of the forked pathways. "What _is that_!" He claimed, "It's sounds like some sort of ghoul with constipation."

Zoe gave a sigh, ghoul with constipation it was not. Only one thing sounded that traumatic and Zoe without speaking a word headed off in direction of the cat like screeches.

"W-Wait for me!" Viggo yelled, clambering after her.

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><p>"MY WHAT A SUNSHINE IN TRINIDAD, HOPE YOU'RE OKAY LIGHTYEARS AWAY, MY WHAT A HEATWAVE IN TRINIDAD, HOPE YOU DON'T MIND-"<p>

"Sketchy, I'm freaking warning you, shut up." Elise snarled dangerously, even from her precarious position of being balanced upon Kaori's shoulder.

"Look!" Psymon replied haughtily, "Mr. Tattoo says if we don't make loads of noise then no one will hear us!"

"Well Elise says if you continue to make more noise then having someone find us will be the least of Mr. Tattoo's freaking worries!" She hissed.

"Maybe a different song Tattoo Boy." Psymon turned around and continued walking, "She doesn't like that one. MY COCK IS MUCH BIGGER THAN YOURS-"

Elise stared open mouthed as Kaori took a brief moment to cover Griff's ears... who was simply staring at Psymon in awe and wonder. "I'll need a pay rise after this." Elise stated. "I am going to make Rahzell's life a living hell."

"Why?" Kaori asked, wincing at the eruption of decibels in the background.

"For making me put up with _this_ monstrosity." Elise pointed a finely manicured finger at Psymon who had now in full swing of some sort of tribal rain dance that Brodi might be proud of. "_And_" She added as an afterthought "For being right."

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><p>When Powder Pete landed his aeroplane down, he had to admit, he'd never really seen an avalanche like it. Rahzell was good to have called him and as he hoisted his survival gear onto his back and opened the back door to his small aircraft; the frantic tour manager was running towards him. "Pete! There you are!"<p>

Pete tipped his hat in greeting and surveyed the general area giving a low whistle as Rahzell started muttering and winging in his ear... although to be honest Pete wasn't really listening. "Yo Rahzell, what caused it?" He asked.

Rahzell stopped with his long-winded explanation and shrugged. "I have no idea... But I WARNED THEM-"

Knowing the tirade was going to last a while, Pete started off in the direction of the entrances when something black and orange caught his eye... "Is that Fraser?" He asked pointing.

Rahzell gave a scream and ran off wildly through the snow in Mac's direction to meet him. Pete gave a long sigh; things were always interesting on the SSX circuit that was for sure.

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><p>Nate had left most of his belongings and a note explaining he would be back near the entrance to where he had let Mac escape, whilst he navigated the caverns searching for the others. With only his torch and a few necessary items in his pockets he headed in some of the directions he knew better leaving arrows left with chalk on the walls in the hope that if he missed anyone they might find them and follow them back to where Mac was bringing the rescue team.<p>

So far luck hadn't been with him. Mac had been gone for about an hour and he hadn't found anyone injured or otherwise. He wasn't sure who exactly he was looking for, since he had no idea if anyone else was even trapped, but his instincts told him he wasn't the only one in the avalanches flow.

It took him ten minutes later before he got any signs of life... and that came in the form of arguing. He couldn't work out who it was exactly but slowly and carefully he followed it and eventually in the distance saw the glimmer of something bright that may possibly be an M-Comm. "HEY!" He shouted, "ANYONE THERE!"

"What's that?" Allegra cried happily spinning around.

Moby groaned, "Nothing love nothing." He stated waving it off. "Your imagination, see you're going delirious all this time without a man you're hearing things." His last ditch effort in vain as Allegra began running up towards a bright light in the distance Moby gave a shrug. "Ah well," he muttered to himself, "Was worth a shot."

"Allegra is that you!" Nate cried as his torch shone across a female figure.

"Yes!" She stated grateful stopping besides him a smile on her freckled face, "Moby is with me too... unfortunately." She added rolling her eyes as the Englishman stopped besides her.

"Please." Moby stated, "You were all over me back there! Couldn't keep your hands off of me if I remember correctly."

"JONES!"

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><p>When Zoe rounded the corner, she was not expecting to see Psymon waving his hands up and down in the air whilst hopping around on one foot. Granted, she was used to his more frequent and ridiculous antics but sometimes... Well sometimes it got too much, and she threw him through windows. But this was too unreal to believe.<p>

"He looks like a Goron." Griff commented to Kaori who just blinked in confusion.

"Uhhh." Kaori looked bewildered and then noticed the punky tough girl staring incredulously at Psymon. "Zoe!" She cried happily.

Psymon stopped dead in the middle of his dance recital, looking like a small child at Christmas. As Elise muttered something thankful under her breath, Zoe realised all too late what her appearance meant as Psymon threw himself at her like a cat who wanted cream.

"ZOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."

The black and red haired woman gave a yell as she fell backwards with an oof, surprisingly landing on something soft as Psymon shook her wildly. "Did you MISS MEEEEEEEE!" He yelled gleefully. "MR TATTOO IS SOOOOOOO Pleased to see YOUUUUUUUU!" Zoe gave a grunt and with force pushed the psycho off of her with a laugh "Yeah good to see you too Sketchy." She answered.

"Ummmm guys." Kaori stated.

"Yes Squeaky?" Psymon answered a bright smile on his face as he peered closely at her.

Shuddering Kaori pushed him away and pointed at Zoe, "Who's that?"

"Zoe you idiot." Psymon snapped.

"No, no. Under Zoe-San." Kaori answered pointing.

All five members of the circuit peered at Zoe and unanimously their eyes travelled further down. "Oh crap." Zoe muttered standing up quickly.

Viggo spluttered and coughed completely winded.

"Whoops." Psymon commented.

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><p><em>Well that's it Chapter 4, sorry it took a while I've started studying and working part time now so I'm pretty busy. If you like read and review. Thanks!<em>

_Wiggle/NA xxx_


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